You are, right this moment, sitting to my left in your highchair with a mouth full (and I know this due to you showing me) of chicken and broccoli. Your dad and I decided as of yesterday that we were O.V.E.R. feeding you from a spoon. You were so damn difficult to feed because you have the attention span of a 10-year-old kid with ADD who has only ever spent his waking moments fused to a video game machine. If you are not distracted a little (and it can only be a little – not too much because then it’s like wrong, wrong, WRONG) then you flat out refuse to eat. This seems like just giving you a toy would be a nice easy fix, but no. You also love to toss things from your highchair tray and then watch them hit the ground. After you toss each thing, you look at whatever idiot is feeding you like “Bring me more toys, minion.” It’s cute. And by cute I mean, it’s freaking annoying as shit. This morning, I decided I had enough so after suffering through half a jar of oatmeal and then you deciding that you were bored in your chair, I figured screw it, got you some Cheerios and let you eat those. Once you finished what I had given you, I moved on to wheat toast and you ate roughly half a piece. You seemed pretty content. Now lunch is going a bit differently. I put the cut up chicken and broccoli on your tray and you sorta stared at me like “But you aren’t going to be my slave???” You get that look a lot. I suppose it’s warranted as I have been much been your step and fetch girl for going on 11 months. Nice. I don’t know about you, but I’m ready to move on.
You are now up to a grand total of six teeth. Your top two middles came in hard and fast and you were not happy. I can’t even imagine how that feels, but you handled it better than I would have, that’s for sure. Now your incisors (fang teeth) are in which is why I figured you could handle some softish food in small bites. Teeth always throw you and your schedule into a tizzy. You tend to get up at 4 as opposed to the rational hour of 5 (that was sarcasm, son – get used to it) and are generally irritated with the world for a solid day or two. That’s not at all your normal demeanor so it’s pretty clear that something is amiss.
The big news is that you are now cruising around furniture like a champ. You love it too. It’s hilarious to watch you climb up, thinking, thinking, thinking the whole way up about where to put this hand and how your feet should be and then once you get completely up, your expression is priceless. So damn proud of yourself. You sorta sway from side to side in what I can only assume is a bit of excitement that is toned down because you are well aware of your rather precarious position being up on two feet. And by that I mean you have the balance of a guy named Mo who has started drinking his scotch very young in life. There is a definite teeter-totter quality to your stance and steppage.
Daddy and I am in the very beginning stages of planning your first birthday party. It won’t be any ridiculously large affair that I guess some people like to do for a first birthday but those who are nearest and dearest will be here to celebrate this year with us and frankly, the fact that we made it through. Let’s face it son – you tried to kill us. You were sent here by the Russians to put us through various sleep deprivation techniques and sound torture (screaming) to send us right to the whacko hut. However, we prevailed and I think even did fairly well. Your dad and I are still speaking (over the screaming) and shockingly enough, still like each other and more shocking still, have managed to still like you. I think that’s total success. Go us.
One of your favorite things to do is chase/torture the pets. Hoss takes this all in stride for the most part and allows you to paw at him not terribly gently while rolling over and taking the attention/abuse. Reba makes herself real scarce when you are around. In fact, it’s not uncommon to forget she lives here until about five or so minutes after your bedtime, she all of the sudden appears and it’s like “oh….right….we have a cat.” Gage does NOT like you. He makes it super clear in that if you get within 5 feet of him, he tends to growl and move away. This would deter some kids, but not you. Apparently you think that is like a beckoning of some sort and just keep following him. It stresses him right out and just so you know, during your nap time, he is passed right out on the sofa in a very blissful state.
Thankfully, with the exception of your ass crack rising time, your sleeping is wonderfully regular now. Lord that was ROUGH. The fact that I know I can get 6-7 hours of sleep a night is quite nice. I am all spoiled now. It’s sorta funny. I remember that awful time, but it’s hazy now. I imagine it’s hazy due the fact that I could barely form a sentence for several months at a stretch, let alone retain any sort of long term memory. It took a while, but the gift of sleep is pretty darn awesome and I am beyond thankful.
I’m trying to remember what else you have been up to lately. Oh. You are tall. Like really tall and you are not gaining weight (I assume from being so active and tooling around all day long) so your gut has sorta stretched out and is pretty flat now. However, your legs are still wonderfully fat. I hope that sticks around for a bit because it’s so damn precious and yummy. Anyway, you are hanging in at 26.5 pounds – steady as she goes. Considering that prior to just recently, you had sometimes gained 3 pounds a month, the fact that you have not gained any weight since your 9 month appointment is sorta shocking. Maybe when you go back at 12 months, you will be on the growth curve. That would shock the crap out of your doctor.
Well, buddy, it has been a big month for you with lots of changes – from loads of toofs to being up on your feet now more than ever. It’s so neat to watch you get bigger and watch your personality evolve and assert your independence (without screaming would be delightful). Your dad and I have said on more than one occasion that you will undoubtedly be a challenge as you age due to your willful nature, but your personality is so funny that I think when we are at our most exasperated, you will probably make us laugh, so that’s good, right?
It will not keep you from getting whippins though. Just sayin’.
